The Biggest Prenup Myth: Why Prenuptial Agreements Protect Both Partners – When Split Happens Episode 3

This post is part of a series summarizing each episode of When Split Happens, Sasso Guerrero & Henderlite’s podcast. Access all episode topics here.

Are prenups just for the wealthy or a sign of distrust? In Episode 3 of “When Split Happens,” Jacksonville’s board-certified family law attorney Jay Henderlite debunks prenup myths, revealing how prenuptial agreements foster trust and fairness under Florida law. Learn how prenups clarify asset division, protect businesses or inheritances, and simplify divorce, while understanding what they can’t do—like set child custody.

Related: Announcing When Split Happens, New Family Law Podcast Hosted by Jay Henderlite

Understanding Prenup Agreements

Why do people assume a prenuptial agreement means one partner does not trust the other?

Jay notes that the assumption comes from a cultural shortcut: discussing money before marriage feels unromantic. He points out that a prenuptial agreement is not a statement of distrust but a planning tool. It forces an honest conversation about assets and expectations so that both partners know where they stand financially before they say “I do.”

How should couples reframe the conversation about prenups?

Approach the topic like other shared financial planning items. Treat it as part of the conversation about buying a home, saving for retirement, or setting up joint accounts. When framed as mutual protection and clarity, a prenup becomes an act of respect rather than an accusation.

What does a prenuptial agreement actually accomplish in Florida?

In Florida a prenuptial agreement allows couples to decide in advance how property, debts, and spousal support will be handled if the marriage ends. It can be tailored to protect premarital assets such as a business, a home owned before marriage, or a family inheritance. Essentially, a prenup sets financial boundaries and expectations to reduce surprises and conflict down the road.

Are there things a prenup cannot cover?

There are clear limits. Custody and child support are not within the scope of a prenuptial agreement. Those issues are always decided by a court based on the best interests of the child. A prenup also cannot include illegal provisions or terms that violate public policy. Crucially, both partners must provide full financial disclosure; attempts to waive that transparency are unenforceable.

Do prenups only benefit wealthy people?

Prenups are for anyone who wants to protect assets, clarify responsibilities, and minimize conflict. Whether a partner brings a house, a small business, student loans, or simple savings to the marriage, a written agreement can make the couple’s financial life simpler and fairer. The perceived exclusivity of prenups is more a social myth than a legal reality.

Won’t a prenup favor one partner over the other?

Properly drafted prenups protect both parties. Florida law requires that a prenuptial agreement be fair, voluntary, and supported by full financial disclosure. That means the agreement should not be signed under duress, both parties should know what they are signing, and both should have a chance to consult independent counsel. When those conditions are met, the agreement is more likely to be equitable and enforceable.

Will a court actually enforce a prenup in Florida?

Yes, says Henderlite, provided certain conditions are met. The agreement must be entered into voluntarily, both parties must disclose their finances fully, and the agreement should not be grossly unfair at the time it was signed. Florida courts generally uphold properly prepared prenuptial agreements, so meeting those formalities is essential.

Can a couple create a prenup after they are married?

Not exactly; however, Jay explains that a post-nuptial agreement serves a similar purpose and can be signed after the wedding. A post-nup can update or reaffirm how the couple would like their assets handled in the future. It is often used when circumstances change during a marriage, such as one partner inheriting a business or a dramatic change in income.

What if one partner refuses to sign a prenup?

Focus on communication. A prenup should never feel like an ultimatum. Instead, it should be framed as part of joint financial planning—the same kind of conversation couples have about saving, investing, or retirement. If a partner is reluctant, explore the reasons behind that reluctance and consider a neutral mediator or simply more time to discuss priorities.

Can a prenup make a future divorce less painful, especially in cases of divorce with kids?

The answer is yes. When emotions run high, a clear agreement reduces ambiguity and decision-making during a divorce. For couples facing divorce with kids, predictable financial arrangements can reduce conflict and allow parents to focus on custody and parenting plans that serve the children’s best interests. A prenup minimizes legal battles, protects privacy, and makes the process more predictable and less expensive—benefits that matter enormously when children are involved.

How does a prenup protect privacy?

Jay notes that without a prenup, divorce negotiations can drag private financial details into public court records. A well-crafted agreement can reduce litigation and the need to air financial disputes publicly. That privacy is a practical benefit for families who want to avoid drawn-out public proceedings, especially when one or both spouses are business owners or high-profile individuals.

What practical steps should couples take if they want to draft a fair prenup?

Henderlite recommends these steps:

• Full financial disclosure by both parties
• Voluntary negotiation without coercion
• Independent legal advice for each partner
• Careful drafting to ensure fairness under Florida law
• Periodic review and updates if circumstances change

These steps help ensure a prenup is enforceable and that both partners feel protected.

How can a prenup reduce resentment over time?

He explains that uncertainty about money breeds resentment. A prenup makes expectations explicit: who is responsible for which debts, how marital property will be divided, and whether spousal support will be paid. When both partners know the plan, there is less room for surprise and fewer opportunities for lingering grievances. In families navigating divorce with kids, that reduced resentment can lead to more cooperative co-parenting.

Is a prenup essentially admitting you expect to divorce?

No — a prenup is like insurance: nobody wants a house to burn down, but homeowners buy insurance to protect the home and their family. Similarly, a prenup protects the future the couple is building together. It is preparation for whatever life brings, not a prediction of failure.

Any final practical advice for people considering a prenup in Florida?

Plan early, be transparent, and treat the agreement as part of the relationship’s long-term financial planning. Seek advice from experienced attorneys and allow time for both parties to consider their options. When handled respectfully, a prenup can be one of the most caring and forward-thinking things partners do for each other.

How prenups relate to divorce with kids

When a marriage includes children or might lead to divorce with kids, the stakes are different. Money and custody issues become intertwined, and stability matters more than ever. Jay Henderlite emphasizes that while prenups cannot dictate custody or child support, they can create financial stability that supports better outcomes for children.

Examples of useful prenup provisions in families expecting eventual complexities:

• Clear designation of premarital property to protect family inheritances
• Agreed methods for dividing business interests to avoid lengthy litigation
• Plans for shared expenses that reduce conflict over day-to-day parenting costs
• Procedures for dispute resolution to keep disagreements out of court

These provisions do not interfere with a judge’s duty to decide custody based on children’s best interests, but they do remove financial uncertainty so parents can focus on care and stability.

FAQ

Will a court actually enforce my prenup in Florida?

Yes. Florida courts generally enforce prenuptial agreements that were entered into voluntarily, supported by full financial disclosure, and not grossly unfair when signed. Proper legal guidance during drafting improves the likelihood of enforcement.

Can we create a prenup after we are married?

Not a prenup, but a post-nuptial agreement can accomplish similar goals. It is signed after marriage and can be updated or confirm how assets will be handled in the future.

Can a prenup affect custody or child support in cases of divorce with kids?

No. Child custody and child support are determined by the court based on the best interests of the child. Prenuptial agreements cannot waive or pre-decide those issues.

What happens if my fiancé refuses to sign?

Open communication is essential. Frame the prenup as financial planning rather than a threat. If resistance continues, consider mediation or professional counseling to explore mutual concerns and priorities.

Do prenups only make sense for wealthy couples?

No. Anyone with premarital assets, business interests, student loans, or complex family circumstances can benefit. Prenups are about clarity and fairness for both partners.

How does a prenup help parents who later face divorce with kids?

A prenup reduces uncertainty about finances, which helps parents focus on custody and parenting plans that serve their children. Predictability and reduced litigation create a calmer environment for co-parenting decisions.

Final thoughts

A prenuptial agreement is about financial transparency, fairness, and peace of mind. It is not a prediction of divorce but a proactive step to protect the future a couple builds. For families who may face divorce with kids, the clarity provided by a prenup can be particularly valuable—it reduces conflict, preserves privacy, and helps parents make child-focused decisions during difficult times.

Preparation, transparency, and mutual respect are the pillars of any enforceable prenup. When those elements are present, a prenuptial agreement becomes an instrument of trust rather than suspicion.